Needs
by ringanybells
Summary: And in her eyes you see nothing, no sign of love behind the tears, cried for no one, a love that should have lasted years. Post-finale, E/P.


[A/N: The song is For No One, by the Beatles. For some reason, it came on the radio, and all I could think about was Paul and Echo. Enjoy]

Your day breaks, your mind aches  
You find that all her words of kindness linger on  
When she no longer needs you

Alpha should have known better. He has dozens of minds, and every one of them should have known that things don't happen the way they're meant to. It's his own fault, he sent the photos, he encouraged the chase. Hell, he'd even helped the intrepid agent break in. But he wasn't prepared for it. Echo was like him, so naturally, he thought they were meant to be. But she is not like him, not just like him. Yes, she is many; yes, she is immune; but she is also good and brave and determined to carry out her mission. And that is what makes her like _him_, like Ballard, that is what connects _them_. As similar as Echo is to Alpha, she is more like Paul.

She wakes up, she makes up  
She takes her time and doesn't feel she has to hurry  
She no longer needs you

Once he joins, Paul spends most of his time in the Dollhouse. He finds it hard to leave. He doesn't like the thought of her alone in a House full of enemies and innocents. When he first signed on to be her handler, he didn't expect it to be so hard, or to hurt so much. Every time she stepped out of the van, it tore at his heart. She can take care of herself, he knows that. The only thing that keeps him from following after her is her own words. He can't count the number of times she has warned him about getting too attached to her. Or the number of times that she has told him she is grateful for his company. She knows she is walking a slippery slope, yet she remains because she has a job, to bring down the House. And he remains, because he has a job, to make sure she isn't in the House when it comes down.

And in her eyes you see nothing  
No sign of love behind the tears  
Cried for no one  
A love that should have lasted years

But then the call would come, an engagement, and she would sit in that chair. Ten seconds, a flash of blue light, and then Echo was gone, replaced by someone else, someone who wasn't Echo, someone who was in love with some rich jackass who thought they could buy whatever they wanted. And she would go upstairs to put on a fancy dress and he would deliver her to them. But the drop off wasn't as bad as that other moment, the flash of blue. That was the moment he hated the most, the one post chair; because it was in that brief moment that everything uniquely Echo was completely and utterly gone. As time had passed though, she'd become stronger than the chair, than the imprints. She was able to remain, even if only a little. When she confessed the truth, there had been tears in her eyes, tears for herself. They were tears for the girl who shouldn't be, for the girl who was too strong to be wiped. He had promised to help her, just to make the tears stop. And he would help her, no matter what it took. It was just hard to remember sometimes, like in that moment, right after her 'treatment' when her eyes would be empty of everything Echo, everything he loved about her.

You want her, you need her  
And yet you don't believe her when she says her love is dead  
You think she needs you

Love, it was a surprise when he realized it. Of course, when he saw it reflected back in Echo's eyes, he had rejoiced. Remembering how Echo looked allowed him to ignore when the imprint wearing her face claimed to love somebody else. It didn't matter what the imprint said, because he knew Echo, and Echo wanted him, had asked him to stay.

And in her eyes you see nothing  
No sign of love behind the tears  
Cried for no one  
A love that should have lasted years

Sometimes, it was a bit unsettling. One second, she was Echo, there with him. But then the shift would happen. And if he didn't know then he'd never be able to tell. Except when he looked in her eyes, they always gave her away. When Echo looked at him, the love was clear in her eyes. But when an imprint looked at him through _her_ eyes, all traces of that love disappeared. It would bother him, except it served as a reminder. When her eyes were empty, she wasn't Echo. The things she did, things she said; Echo wasn't saying them, the imprint was.

You stay home, she goes out  
She says that long ago she knew someone but now he's gone  
She doesn't need him

The first time Echo said she trusted him, he'd hidden his feeling under an eye roll. But that was purely for Topher's benefit. Her trust, however fake and programmed it was that first time, had thrilled him. He'd been trying to save her for ages, now he could. Weeks later, when he'd discovered how unique she was, when she had told him, trusted him, it had been different. She had chosen it that time, chosen him. In that moment, he hadn't been her handler, he'd been her friend. And it was in that moment that Boyd had truly been replaced.

Your day breaks, your mind aches  
There will be times when all the things she said will fill your head  
You won't forget her

He's amazed at how easily she became the center of his life. Even before he knew her, he'd been drawn to her. Back when she was just a picture in an envelope, a girl on a disk, she was his objective. Then he had met her and things had started to change. She had been so innocent that first time, so deadly the second, and yet she had held his attention even after what she had done. Getting to her had become the sole focus in his life. And then he had. He'd made his way into the Dollhouse and found her. And he couldn't bring himself to regret a single moment of any of it. The injuries, the suspension, the laughter and mockery from his fellow agents, none of it seemed to matter when he got the phone call from her asking for help. And it mattered even less once he swore to protect her.

And in her eyes you see nothing  
No sign of love behind the tears  
Cried for no one  
A love that should have lasted years.

Alpha saw it all. He watched from a far as the two of them made their journey from strangers to soul mates. He knew it was his fault, but he cannot seem to regret it now, so many years later. He knew she wanted to ignore the truth, that she thought pretending she felt nothing would be easier. But he also knew her well enough to know that that is the farthest thing from the truth. _He's gone_. Her words echoed in his head. She had lost everything, her family, her boyfriends, her handlers. She came to the Dollhouse to forget, but because of him, because he forced her to evolve, that will never be an option for her. She will carry Paul with her forever. It's then that the idea hit him, because he carried Paul with him too. It was a rash and impulsive decision ten years ago to use the imprint, but it was the major catalyst for his reform. And he knew it would be the greatest gift for her. Because she is crying now, pretending that the pain is not there and that losing him did not break her. But Alpha knows the truth, because a part of him knows how much Paul Ballard cared. So he finds the wedge and leaves it for her. Paul Ballard did not deserve to die, and Echo does not deserve to be alone.


End file.
